Treasured Ministries

Offering women a biblical solution for inner healing

Live Treasured Podcast and Blog

10 Signs of an Unhealthy Friend

by

Discover ten signs of an unhealthy friend straight from God’s Word in our podcast today and gain the courage to set boundaries to open the door wide for authentic friendship by God’s design.

Authentic friendship means I do not lose my identity inside of community and part of that journey is understanding how to be discerning in your close relationships. Listen and learn more today straight from God’s Word so you can walk wise and embrace authentic friendship.

Want more? Check out our latest Weekly Word Series on Authentic Friendship.  Here’s the link.

Podcast: Play in new window

Subscribe: Spotify | More

How to Set Boundaries with Michelle Nietert

by

If you have trouble setting boundaries you are not alone. Once I saw that boundaries were healthy and biblical the next hurdle was learning how to set them. Can you relate? In my podcast this week Michelle Nietert, a licensed professional counselor shares practical steps you can start taking today to set boundaries. I learned so much, and I know you will too! Don’t miss it!

Michelle Nietert has been passionately equipping audiences in the community, church, school and private practice office setting for over twenty years. Her articles have been published in ParentLife Magazine and on the MOPS blog. She is currently working with a publishing agent on a book for parents equipping them to engage in Uncomfortable Conversations with their Children. Michelle and her husband Drew work diligently at being happily married for almost 15 years and have two children they almost adore too much. Michelle loves inspiring readers and audiences alike to discover Solutions for Life with Practical Teaching and Biblical Wisdom.

Visit Michelle at www.counselorthoughts.com and be sure to subscribe at http://eepurl.com/b3eQd9

You can also check out the Counselor Thoughts Podcast at http://michellenietert.com/podcast/

Podcast: Play in new window

Subscribe: Spotify | More

Discerning Unhealthy Friendships (Part One)

by

We are called to be in community but not every relationship is healthy for us. Friendships can either add to our lives or subtract. While we are called to love and respect everyone; our close personal friendships are those that we should be wise about because “bad company corrupts good character” (1 Corinthians 15:33).

Over the next two weeks we are going to take a look at this topic in both our Treasured Devotions blog and our Facebook Live on Wednesday. Paying attention to the close company we keep has an impact on the course of our life.

Who we spend our time with matters.

In the past, I’ve struggled with setting boundaries. Sometimes it was hard to discern what is healthy and what is not because of outside appearances. Sometimes, especially inside of the church, I felt very guilty about setting boundaries. But here is what I’ve learned, the Bible encourages us to be discerning with our close associates.

“Walk with the wise and become wise; associate with fools and get in trouble.” Proverbs 13:20

So how do you walk wise and discern those divine connection in your life?  The way to be wise about those with whom you walk closely is by walking closest to the Holy Spirit.

When I am walking closely with the Holy Spirit I can trust his discernment for my close connections.

Pay Attention to the Holy Spirit’s Caution about Unhealthy Friendships

Have you ever been around a person and the Holy Spirit is giving you a caution? Pay attention to it!

Jesus is the gatekeeper of our heart, opening and closing doors. We may never know the reasons for the check in our spirit. It could be that WE are not ready for this friendship for whatever reason. But the reason we can know: Jesus knows and we can trust His discernment for divine connections in every season in our lives (John 2:24-25).

In the past, I was very confused about love and trust because I saw them as the same. But, they are different. Love is unconditional for all people. However, trust from people must be earned. Never rush intimacy in friendship or any other relationship.

The only person that we can give our automatic complete trust to is God Himself. And as we learned last week, our Good Shepherd will lead us to good healthy friendships we can trust, when we walk closely with the Holy Spirit in prayer.

Also, When I walk closest with the Holy Spirit, I will be a woman of decision confidently directed by the Lord not vulnerable to the control of others.

Gain Confidence in Walking with the Holy Spirit

Inside of the church today we have people that are “religious” only on the outside. (Acts 20:29, Matthew 7:15, Jude 12-16). They look like innocent “sheep”, but inside, they have ulterior motives.  Often their motive is to have control over you to gain a following for themselves. They look for weaknesses in your soul to capitalize on and gain control. In 2 Timothy 3:5-7 from The Message translation, describes these types of people:

“They’ll make a show of religion, but behind the scenes they are animals. Stay clear of these people. These are the kind of people who smooth-talk themselves into the homes of the unstable and needy women and take advantage of them; women who, depressed by their sinfulness, take up with every new religious fad that calls itself ‘truth.’ They get exploited every time and never really learn.”

If you are NOT a woman of decision, you could be unstable and a target to somebody unhealthy having influence over you.  If you often call 50 people to ask for their input in your decisions, this may indicate that you don’t complete confidence in the Lord’s leading in your life and vulnerable to the control of others.

However, when you are confident in God’s still small voice, you won’t be influenced by every whim of teaching.

If you are a people pleaser, own that, turn a new direction and gain confidence to make your own decisions apart from people. You and I can walk with the assurance that the Holy Spirit leads us, guides us, and guards us. (Next week we’ll continue this discussion with two more ways walking closest with the Holy Spirit allows us to walk WISE!)

Want to leave indecision and people pleasing? The Nourish Bible Study Method can help you discern truth for your life through God’s Word so you can live with confidence in God’s direction not under the control of others. Take our 21-Day Challenge and become a woman of decision so you can be all God created you to be!

Nourish Scripture:  Joshua 9

Blog written by Aliene Thompson. Aliene Thompson is the founder of Treasured Ministries and the Author of the Nourish Bible Study Series. © 2019 Treasured Ministries.

Why Misconceptions About Love Matter

by

Our misconceptions about real love can prevent us from receiving and giving real love the way God intended. However, it doesn’t have to stay that way.

Listen to today’s podcast and see how changing the way we love others is a direct result of changing our perception about the way God loves us.

Podcast: Play in new window

Subscribe: Spotify | More

Perfect Imperfection

by

What do you look for in a friend?

What kind of friend do you want to be?

What does authentic friendship mean to you?

To me, authentic friendship means sharing agape love.

Authentic Friendship Is Based on God’s Agape Love

I used to try to develop characteristics that sparkled in the world’s eyes.

Popularity, perfection, position—worldly strength.

These qualities and the friendships that evolved from them gave me false security. I felt important, and I wrongly believed I could gain the worldly strength I saw inside these friends. I also accepted the lie that if I were perfect and popular, if I pleased others and had the “right” friends and a position inside my church, I could gain authentic friendship. And I cycled in and out of co-dependent friendships. I was rescuing each friend. I felt safe from rejection because I was needed. UGH!

Can you relate?

But God in his grace sent the winds of adversity my way. A storm of hurricane proportion swept into my life and washed away those lies to write on my heart what matters in friendship. God unearthed special friends who loved me despite my imperfections and pointed me to his perfection. That storm also washed away friends who were not so genuine—something for which I will always be thankful.

True friendship has the strength to endure storms because it loves even when life is not so lovely.

Authentic friendship is based on God’s agape love toward us. God looks at the heart and so should we. Agape love speaks truth, encourages, endures, and most of all sees us through the lens of the gospel.

“So now I am giving you a new commandment: Love each other. Just as I have loved you, you should love each other. Your love for one another will prove to the world that you are my disciples.” (John 13:34–35 NLT, emphasis mine)

True Friends See Your Perfect Imperfection

One summer after a storm at the beach my son found a piece of red sea glass. Any piece of sea glass is a treasure, but red sea glass is the rarest gem of all. Storms often unearth such treasures and cast them to the shore.

Similarly, friends who love you despite your imperfections are treasures and often surface during the storms of life.

They are the ones who see you as beautiful sea glass instead of discarded shards of broken glass because they look at you through the lens of the gospel. They have received his grace, so they can share it with others—including you.

Like Jesus, they don’t see problems—they see this potential: Jesus takes the broken things in our lives and makes them beautiful.

When looking for friendship, seek not what sparkles in the world’s eyes but what matters in the eyes of your Savior. Like the rarity of red sea glass, deep authentic friendship will be rare in your life but very possible to find!

We find authentic friendship as we first become that friend ourselves by following the example of Christ’s friendship toward us. Healthy biblical friendship doesn’t just happen. It is something we must pursue and practice by taking proactive steps according to God’s principles. More on this in our Facebook Live this week.

How have you experienced grace from others during storms in your life?

Consider ways you can reach out to others and be an authentic friend. Today choose to be that friend by looking at others through the lens of Christ’s love.

Whom will you reach out to today?

Nourish Scripture: Matthew 7:7-12

Blog written by Aliene Thompson. Aliene Thompson is the founder of Treasured Ministries and the Author of the Nourish Bible Study Series. © 2019 Treasured Ministries.

Praying for Elephant Friends

by

God is a good father who hears our prayers and provides precious gifts to his children including authentic friendship. But sometimes past experiences can lie to our hearts telling us falsely we are not worthy to have those relationships. And deep inside, while we never articulated it – we accepted that lie, and so because belief impacts our behavior, WE DID NOT ASK GOD to provide.  When this happened to me instead of praying and trusting God’s provision, I  worked hard trying to earn that close connection by people pleasing, rescuing, trying to be perfect, or popular and missed out on God’s best. Ahhhh but when we pause and remember the truth about who God our good Father, bold, persistent prayers will bring beautiful, amazing authentic friendships – a provision from your Father who loves us so!

In today’s podcast we are talking about elephant friends – listen and find out more!

Podcast: Play in new window

Subscribe: Spotify | More

Week One: Called to Companionship

by

The Christian life is not one made to be done in solitude. From the beginning of time itself God did not see fit for man to be alone even in the perfection that was the garden!

He has created us with the desire for companionship engrained in the makeup of our hearts. And try as we might, none of us are immune to that yearning.

The Glory in Christ-Centered Friendship

This summer I was put in a place to understand the glory to be found in a Christ-centered friendship with someone, even when I wasn’t looking for it.

When I found out that I would spending the summer in New York City interning it struck me that I was knowingly walking into a season of isolation. And the prideful parts of myself were even thrilled for the opportunity to “push myself” and have a “Summer with just God.” And looking back on that mindset now, how fortunate we are to serve a God so good that He does not give us the things we believe we want. And as I near the end of my time here it is my responsibility to look back at the graciousness of God, the promises He has so faithfully kept to me, and praise Him for it.

As I prayed over this summer and began to ask for His will to be residing over it, one unexpected promise became very clear to me:

There was someone waiting for me in that city, and not only that, but I needed to begin praying for her before I got there.

And honestly often the promises I hear from God seem too good to be true, and simply put, that’s because by all understanding of this world, they are too good to be true. But grace is what makes the goodness of God the utmost truth, and that’s the beauty of a life for Christ.

So here I found myself in the city of millions waiting on a promise from God that He would bring that companion.

The Faith to Pray into Promise

When God promises us things, it takes faith to pray into them, it takes faith to pray fearlessly with big prayers, but that faith is what He rejoices in.

And so one week later, there she was.

It was a random Bible study I had found on Google, the only college one that came up, and when I arrived there were 3 people sitting at the table, the leader, myself, and my answer to prayer. An hour later and we were separated by two bowls of over-priced ramen with faces lit by what was evidently the work of God.

And this is where it all comes together, halfway through our first time meeting she paused and simply said “this is going to sound weird…” and by this point I already knew, but I waited anyways, “I have actually been praying for you for a while now, and I think you are the answer to those prayers.”

This is the love of God made tangible in the gift of a friend, and how grateful I am to know a God that knows the deepest needs of this heart of mine.

Our Battle Isn’t Meant to Be Fought Alone

Independence is one thing, pride is another, the Christian life is a battle against everything this world tells us we must be, and it is not one meant to be fought alone. Do not allow the enemy to tell you the lie that you are better off alone. God does not want you to be alone.

  • Pray for God to bring you friends that are fighting the same battles you are.
  • Pray for a few trusted warriors that will hold your feet to the fire even while you kick, because those are the friendships that even if your lives call you apart from one another, you part from stronger.

Those are the bonds that Hell is afraid of.  You are worthy of a friendship like this.

Today, as we begin our series on friendship begin to earnestly pursue friendship as you pray with great expectation and a heart open wide. Let the God who created you with the capacity for companionship fill that need in a way only he can.

Nourish Scripture: Matthew 17:7-12

Written by Millicent Phillips. Millicent attends Liberty University and is on the writing team with Treasured Ministries. Follow her on Instagram. © 2019 Treasured Ministries.

Authentic Friendship

by

She found herself out of practice. Like trying to sit at the piano again and struggling to find notes after years of not playing, she seemed out of tune when she tried to practice friendship. Her heart held her back from giving her all to the keys before her and making beautiful music. Oh, she had many acquaintances. Company was not lacking, but her God-given desire for deep connections felt starved. She closed her eyes and prayed, “Teach me, Lord, how to start again.”

Real friendship. . . . Authentic. Vulnerable. Deep. Trustworthy. Christ-centered.

  • We are created for relationships.

…but often life becomes busy. We devote time to our children for a season. Our homes and careers demand our minutes and leave us with little margin to make time for friendship.

  • We are created for deep connections.

…but relationships get messy, and we’d rather not get messy again. We get hurt, so we protect our hearts. We trade being authentic for achievement. We limit ourselves to surface relationships so we don’t suffer heartache. And while acquaintances continue to accumulate, we miss the gift of a deeper walk with a few close friends . . . the gift of being true to ourselves and inviting others to do the same.

This is my story.

Can you relate?

Pulling Away after Experiencing Hurt

On the other side of two hurtful relationships, I found myself pulling away.

Keeping to myself.

Pouring my time and energy into my family.

And honestly–I am grateful for that season of special closeness to my family and the Lord. I needed some time and space—just to be with God for a while and heal from my hurt as I learned and grew. And I am grateful for that time concentrated on my boys as I know they will fly my nest soon.

But like God opening the door to Noah’s ark and telling him it was time to come out—that his set-apart season was over—so too my beautiful season of being pulled away was not meant to be forever. I learned a lot in my ark about authentic friendship. About boundaries, trust, and vulnerability. Also during that time, God put very special friends in my life who pulled me right out of my shell and showed me about Real Authentic Healthy Friendship.

Understanding Authentic Friendship

Here is what I learned and would love to share with you over the next seven weeks:

Healthy biblical friendship doesn’t just happen. It is something we must pursue and practice by taking proactive steps according to God’s principles.

This is the truth: You can have deep connections ordained by God himself! You are worthy to be loved. To belong. But you must practice . . . you must put yourself out there . . . and you must do it God’s way.

Welcome to “Authentic Friendship,” the next series from Treasured Ministries. Over the next seven weeks and on Facebook Live you will . . .

  • Discover God’s principles for practicing healthy friendship as you consider various passages on friendship in the Bible.
  • Be inspired to pray for God’s divine connections in your life and how to recognize them.
  • Gain wisdom on how to discern unhealthy friendships and set boundaries.
  • Find courage to be vulnerable with others in order to create deeper connections.
  • Abandon the insecurities that tell you to chase endless shallow friendships and find strength from the deep connections and accountability that can be found in a small group.

Looking forward to getting started? Why not invite someone to join you by forwarding this to a friend? That’s a great way to begin!

Blessings,

Aliene and the Treasured Ministries Team

Blog written by Aliene Thompson. Aliene Thompson is the founder of Treasured Ministries and the Author of the Nourish Bible Study Series. © 2019 Treasured Ministries.